From Where We Came
by Alsheon
Summary: Grisia's death from Roland's POV: Roland cannot even blink. He's forced against his will to only watch as the last bit of life inside those unseeing beautiful azure eyes drained. There's no sound in the room with the only exception being Pink's cheerful, victorious laughter. Disgusting... He loves it. Bit of DemonKing!Roland. You'll see pairing if YOU see it that way.


**So, To fill in the small fandom of LSK and the limited access to many AU and ideas that had been explored by other wonderful writers. I decided to make some fics according to the unexplained event in the book. Such as how Grisia's death and Roland's reaction- the real Roland's reaction. Not the Demon King one.**

 **There are many fanfic potentials in the novel itself. Such as how the Storm Knight was described as "A definition of Freedom, if there's some kind of demonstration of freedom in some place, he must be going there to give his own freedom speech. Sometimes, because his speech is too moving, he'll be often forced to stay to lead a rebellion" that was somewhere in the first volume and first chapter (Or was it second?). The definition of Storm Knight.**

 **Now, wouldn't that be fun if there's a fic somewhere which descripted how our 38th Storm Knight, with his tired sleepless eyes, forced himself to strode into one sub kingdom, ascending the platform and starts giving out a passionate speech that he had meticulously prepared the night before. So meticulous that everyone is moved and begged him to stay to lead the rebellion and before he knew it, he along with the rebel army already overthrown the kingdom's king. After that Sun would be in a tight place as the Kingdom of Forgotten Sounds might be suspicious and had to retrieve Storm himself. Like, it could be a headcannon on why Sun loves to bring Storm along when he paid the castle a visit. He's indirectly threatening the king with rebellion.**

 **And also there's a line somewhere in the first volume when Leaf was calling Sun from outside but Sun is in his bodymask routine. Because of Leaf's understanding and kindness, Sun endlessly praised him and even said "If only I'm a woman, I would definitely caress his cheek and whispered to him** _ **'Leaf, you're truly a good guy'"**_ **Now, IF Sun becomes a woman, I could clearly picture him doing that. The poor Leaf would definitely be flustered (And absolutely dump Ann's pathetic ass.)**

 **Also in the bonus, Neo once mentioned Chasel's food is no better than nothing. Meaning, the 37th Judgement Knight had a demonic skill in cooking. Luckily, he's the Judgement Knight, no? It's impossible for him to be forced to cook... Unless it's for a new torture method that would certainly scared the young Lesus and his weak stomach.**

 **And many other things could be explored, sadly, this fandom is too obscure so not many write here. Let alone have a time to explore those.**

 **BUT! I'm exploring one of those.**

 **The one about how Roland would react and felt when he watched Grisia dies. Why? Because I'm in the mood for Angst!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Oh! You can also see this as RolandxGrisia if you squint. Well, I made it as a heavy bromance, BUT Fangirls always love to romanticised things. Can't say I never done that.**

* * *

In his whole life, things had always been blurry to Roland. Where; When; What he was doing; What he was thinking; How did he get there; Why? Everything had always been a blur, everything excluding that one person...

That one person who barged into Roland's heart and left a very deep impression that it could never be erased.

The person who taught him the bound of brotherhood. That person who Roland sincerely wanted to protect. That person who pulled Roland out of his monochrome life to a whole new world full of colours. The only light of Roland's life. The only vivid one in Roland's memory...

 _Grisia..._

Grisia was... vulnerable. Not in term of mentality, but rather, he seemed to be prone to trouble. Roland can't seem to be at ease whenever he left his side. More so when the cold hand of another blurry image pulled Roland's hand, _away_ from his light. Every day had always been full of worry since then.

But later on, Roland found out that his worries were unnecessary as there are ten more shields who were ready to take on everything before anyone can touch Grisia. The Twelve Holy Knights.

What also made Roland worried was Grisia was very soft. Again, that description is not to be taken literally. To those he claimed as brothers and important people, Grisia was very soft. Despite his sly appearance outside, if you could understand him more than he understood himself, you could clearly see how soft he actually was.

The fact that he accepted Roland who was an _undead_ being as someone by his side was already a proof. Worrisome indeed. If Roland had any choice, he would scold Grisia about his selfish choice... But Roland was the undead in the example, so Roland couldn't exactly complain... Though, he also won't complain if Grisia chose to kill him. Dying under Grisia's hand would be very much an honor compared to be killed by the Pig King.

That reckless pretty boy, whom Roland always protected in the past, seemed to never change. Grisia was sure got bigger and smarter, but deep down, the root was still the same.

Always so dazzling, graceful, bright, elegant, reckless, playful, sly, every fiber of his being was screaming with _life._

 _No more..._ A voice hissed from deep inside Roland's mind. Cold and poisonous.

In the dark, cold and humid small room, Roland's body was tense, he cannot move, he cannot even blink. He was forced against his will to only watch as the last bit of life inside those unseeing beautiful azure eyes drained. There was no sound in the room with the only exception being Pink's cheerful, victorious laughter.

Disgusting.

 _No, no, no..._

Nauseating.

 _Roland stumbled to the ground, having regained his control over his own body._

Hateful.

 _Roland stared unblinkingly at Grisia's lifeless body in the middle of the pool of blood._

So sick-

 _He loves it._

Hysterical laughter bubbled inside Roland's chest and he readily let it out, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Roland laughed maniacally. His eyes were pitch black with no hint of white, void and empty... _Insane._

 _He's the Demon King._

Pink's smile became even brighter as she noticed that her child was already crowned as the Demon King with Grisia's death. She laughed even more happily with her seductive voice.

Roland wheezed and looked down right into Grisia's dilated pupil. Lifeless. He's dead. _Dead._ Heh, hilarious! "Hehe," The Demon King cackled and squatted down, not minding the pool of blood around the angelic-looking man.

His cold, unfeeling hand touched the cold and unfeeling cheek. Roland slowly slid his finger down to Grisia's chin, noting how, as always, he can't feel a thing. Grisia's complexion is even paler than a sheet of paper now, even slightly greyish. His white uniform is dyed crimson. His hair, which had long lost its golden splendor, had also lost its purity and cleanliness, the colour of soft white snow had replaced by the glaring scarlet.

He really looked like an angel. An angel who died sacrificed. Ironic. Very ironic that it's hilarious!

The newly crowned Demon King snorted and soon laughed again, "AHAHA!" He truly couldn't help himself, it's just too ironic!

Pink got down from her seat, happily and dotingly watched her victorious child celebrating his victory. "Congratulation for being the Demon King, my dear child," Pink congratulated cheerfully, staring down at her squatting 'child'.

Roland stopped laughing after he heard her voice which reminding him that there was another person inside the room aside for him and Grisia. His Lich... Roland looked up to look at his so-called loving Lich, what to do with this sly undying soul?

Pink, however, frozen in shock after she saw Roland raising his head, "Child..." Pink started, "Why... Why are you crying?" Pink stressed after she saw the two wet bloody tracks on each of Roland's cheek.

The Demon King tilted his head, his pitch black eyes are ever emotionless. He raised his hand to swipe over his unfeeling numb cheek and looked at it to check if it's wet... Huh... It's wet. Roland furrowed his brows, no, that can't be, his hands are just drenched in Grisia's blood...

Feeling vexed, Roland decided to wipe his cheek with the inner side of his sleeves. His skin is the skin of the dead so he can't feel anything, nor was he supposed to cry. That's just ridiculous-

The Demon King paused and stared at the wet spot on his dark outfit. Only it wasn't simply wet... it's rather reddish... He's actually crying blood.

 _A creature of death is not supposed to cry..._

Roland's breath picked up- _no! He wasn't supposely NEEDED to_ _breath-!_

"Hah... _Uugh..._ " A tiny whine, a cry, a distressed and sorrowful sound, escaped Roland's lips and he collapsed in the pool of his bestfriend's blood.

"Roland!" Pink panicked and exclaimed in worry.

Roland tensed at the voice and trembled as someone touched his shoulder, Roland lashed out, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Roland roared and harshly pushed Pink away from him.

The Lich staggered back and bumped her back to the wall painfully, but Liches had been too used to be treated harshly by their candidate, so Pink easily stood up. "Calm down, child! I know you're fond of Grisia, but it's a must! It's either kill or be killed in this road. I- I can revive him as my undead, control him to give up his fragment, and you'll have him for eternity, I promise!" Pink explained her plan but Roland's cold glare shut her up immediately.

"You're so noisy," Roland growled. He brandished the sword in his hand and the darkness element gathered densely around him, he glared with his pitch black eyes, "I _don't_ need _him,_ " The Demon King claimed.

"Roland!" Pink exclaimed desperately but Roland hears no reason as the darkness around him gathered even denser that it even caused an uncomfortable disturbance to the light elements nearby the location- overwhelming even the Undying Lich.

"I didn't ask for your opinion," The Demon King bellowed and stabbed forward, right through Pink's chest. "Now stay silent until oblivion!" Roland snarled and the sword responded by sucking the Lich's undying soul right into it and prisoned it. Pink tried to struggle but it was useless and soon no one else is in the room with the exception of Roland and Grisia's lifeless body.

Roland stared blankly to his sword before discarding it to the side, "Hehe," He cackled before dropping his gaze back to Grisia. Roland leaned down, staring at Grisia as if Grisia would respond.

"How does it feel?" Roland started slowly, "The feeling of death?" Roland asked hoarsely. No one answered. _No one._ No one ever did. Not when he's begging for help when he was alive and tortured by the fat pig king. Not _now._ No one ever answered. Not the Lich who prided herself as his 'parent'. Not God. And even more disappointingly, not that golden-haired man whom eternally etched in Roland's mind.

Not even Grisia...

"I hate you," Roland growled. That's a lie, he knew it. Even with the Demon King in him is insisting that he hated him. Never once Roland hated Grisia.

How could he hate him when he had been so good to Roland?

~.~

 _A golden-haired boy was beside him, touching his bruised face and winced a bit before the orange light on the tip of his finger healed the bruises._

 _Roland was watching him silently, all healed. The feeling of guilt was strong in Roland's heart as he gripped his wooden sword tighter, "Grisia..." he called out and the golden-haired boy looked up. His beautiful azure eyes were as dazzling as ever._

" _From now on, I promise I'll protect you," Roland vowed, a childish and irresponsible promise. But the boy beside him smiled sincerely._

" _I'll leave it to you, then."_

 _~.~_

A choked sob replaced the Demon King's cackle, Roland bent down, wanting to caress Grisia's cheek, one last time, _just one last time, let me express my goodbye-_ The Demon King stumbled back, trying to control himself. He straightened and growled at Grisia's motionless body.

~.~

 _Another memory came up. Roland stood alone in his Royal Knight uniform, his crystal blue eyes are looking rather lonely. A cheer interrupted his thought and he hesitantly looked up._

 _Far away from the place he's standing on, is an elaborate beautiful altar. Newly appointed eleven of Twelve Holy Knights of the 38th generation are standing there._

 _Roland noticed how all eleven of them shared a deep and secretive look of understanding... Grisia has ten people to protect him now. Does he even still remember Roland?_

 _... Roland is afraid to know the answer to that question._

 _Roland lowered his head, it's best to stay away from Grisia. Because Roland truly won't know what to do if Grisia didn't remember him..._

 _~.~_

"You're cruel," the Demon King sneered. "You manipulative bastard. I'm sick of you and your hypocrisy, I'm sick of your fake smiles, I'm sick of your manipulation. Why were you the one who was chosen as the Sun Knight? You're weak, you don't even know swordsmanship. Why? Obviously, you're nothing. Ugh- I'm sick of you. I'm sick of your childishness, I'm sick of your schemes, I'm sick of you and those disgustingly loving shields around you!" The Demon King scorned. He slammed his fist into the pool of blood around him, gaining a bit of sadistic delight at the bloody sight.

The Demon King's face contorted, "I'm sick of your love and affection!" He screamed resentfully.

"Why?! Why did you take me in?! You stupid- idiotic bastard, why didn't you kill me?!" Roland screamed to Grisia's face.

"Ah..." In the next second, Roland's crazed look replaced by a lost expression. He trained his gaze on Grisia's emotionless face, "Why aren't you answering me?" Roland asked again, his tone is not gentle but it's certainly softer than the earlier crazed scorn.

"That's right..." He blinked, "You're dead." The Demon King looked up thoughtfully, "Under my blade, bleeding to death. Extremely pathetic, begging me to end you early." He reminisced as if that didn't just happen in the last mere hour.

"I did end you early though..." Roland looked down, "Because it's annoying having to wait before being crowned..." The Demon King's expression hardened, "Why am I talking to you? Whatever," He shook his head and stood up.

"This king doesn't need you anymore," The new Demon King said coldly as he yanked Grisia up with only one hand. Despite looking quite crude, only God knows Roland is actually being extremely gentle... Yes, not even the Demon King himself realized this.

* * *

Roland's breath hitched painfully for a split second, the feeling of being freed immediately overwhelmed him. It feels like the burden that was holding him underwater, suffocating him, just now had completely disappeared, enabling him to surface and think more clearly.

"No..." Roland felt his body weakened, the feeling is quite familiar, it felt like his soul is leaving his body for the second time after the first time being his own death. A feeling of loss and helplessness.

Roland tumbled to the ground, not caring even if he was crashing. His wide bone-like wings closed around him as a source of comfort. Roland gripped his chest- no rapid heartbeat, of course, he was dead after all, he'd be even more freaked out if there's some beating in there... Then why did it feel very painful?

He was _dead._

 _He IS dead!_

He wasn't supposedly to _feel!_ Why?!

Why is he feeling now?!

Back in the church, no matter how happy the occasion was, he could never feel happy. In the end, he had to resort to fake a smile to his comrades... No matter how disastrous it was, he never felt angry nor worry. With the exception of Grisia's disappearance which evoked a small worry and a small neglectable feeling of disappointment when Grisia hid the fact about his blindness... Roland never felt a thing...

Why was he sad now? Why? Roland has no doubt that if only he was alive now, he would feel nauseated by the amount of anxiety and guilt he was harbouring.

But then again, if he was alive, he wouldn't be controlled by Pink. He wouldn't have killed Grisia.

Roland stilled.

 _He killed Grisia..._

No, _no, no, no, no, no-_

 ** _NO!_**

Roland gasped, his gaze is blank as he stared at nothing.

 _Didn't he also toss Grisia's dead body before the Twelve Holy Knights?_

"Ah..." Roland looked down, his heart also dropped even lower. Those ten people loved Grisia like no others, just as like how Grisia loved them all unconditionally. They were Grisia's shields, swords, pillars, faithful best friends, and viewed Grisia as their utmost responsibility... Their friend, their leader, their light. Their _irreplaceable Sun._

And Roland had treated the man they viewed as more precious than a treasure as a trash... Killing him and tossing him before them like a waste.

They _would never_ forgive him.

His brothers would never forgive him... Roland's lifeless eyes gained a bit of awareness as he stood up and extended his wings. He closed his eyes and flew toward the Cathedral of Shadow God.

He was completely with no one now. Still, he wouldn't simply give up, no matter what he had killed Grisia and now the world was without a Sun Knight _,_ he wouldn't let it without a Demon King also.

Even if he had to live as the creature he hated the most for God knows how long. Let him.

He'd view it as a way to redeem himself.

* * *

"You..." Roland's cold emotionless eyes jumped as he noticed the almost transparent figure standing before him. The pure aura around him, the breathtaking blue eyes, he looked ever so divine with his white hair flowing freely down to his waist. Roland felt like he was dreaming.

 _"Roland..."_ He said, the same voice, the same gentle and caring tone that he reserved only for his brothers...

Roland felt a bubbling relieved laughter inside his chest but quickly suppressed it, instead, he revealed a soft smile at him. "Grisia," Roland called out to the astral projection of his bestfriend.

 _He's alive..._

Roland knew he had been resurrected, but never truly got a clear news from Awaitsun- that being said, Roland detested interacting with Awaitsun. The last time Roland heard about Grisia is that he had gone insane... Which had made Roland devastated, he even had half a mind to also gone insane and wreck Cathedral of Shadow God- and those bastards who tried to scheme against Grisia and the Church of God of Light for being crazy.

But now... He was back. He was truly back now.

Roland gracefully descended before the angelic astral projection, staring at Grisia's handsome and lively face, Roland's smile widen. Now Grisia was back, Roland intended to keep it that way.

* * *

READ FOR ADDITIONAL KNOWLEDGE!

 **If you're asking about Roland's unstable character earlier in the story, It was because he** _ **was**_ **emotionally unstable. Just like how Grisia was thoroughly uncontrolled, the Demon King in him also surfaced and pushed Roland's real personality down. But like Grisia, how the Twelve Holy Knights were like a trigger- if they're hurt-** _ **dying,**_ **The real Grisia would surface in the middle of insanity and** _ **grief**_ **over his brothers.**

 **Roland's catalyst is Grisia.** **Just like how I described, Roland must have viewed Grisia as a kind of Messiah to him. The most important person in Roland's life, of course the Demon King in him was sometimes suppressed by the real Roland's emotion of Grisia's death- but again, Roland's struggle against the Demon King is not as strong as Grisia's struggle when he saw the Twelve Holy Knights are dying before him.** _This_ is not without reason. Grisia was _alive,_ meanwhile, Roland was _dead._

 **Why does that matter** **?** An Undead cannot _feel._ That's what stopped Roland to really win over the Demon King. He was an _unfeeling undead_ before being the DK, no matter how much he cared or loved Grisia, his feeling was shallow as an undead, hence he was defeated instead of trying to help Grisia.

 **And did you spot that plothole? Yeah, Pink was stated to wish for Sun's body to be** _ **her**_ **undead, hence, she kept as little damage as possible to Sun's body- her plan was later foiled by Roland with him sealing her and tossing Grisia's body back to the Church.**

 **But we learned later in the story, that a-dead-turn-alive candidate is still a candidate, look at Roland. So, in my headcannon, Pink wanted to kill then revive Sun as her undead then control Sun to give up his fragment and kept Sun by her side- even giving him to Roland if Roland wanted him, perhaps.**

 **And also, did you guys noticed how** **Roland is much more** _ **alive**_ **and more... Idk, he just felt livelier and could have many expression, instead the expressionless Roland I imagine in the earlier volumes before he becomes a Death Monarch. He even snapped when Grisia cornered him with his "Do** _ **you**_ **want to be the Demon King?" question. He laughed mockingly, he smiled, he looked lost and desperate, unwilling. All in all, he's much livelier when he was a Death Monarch. So that's why I made him having some expression and feeling in the last part of chapter.**

 **Also, I don't think Roland actually know he was not a Demon King anymore until some days later, probs Awaitsun informed him.**

 **And boy... After all that shit and promises, Roland was still convinced to let go of Grisia and ended up losing Grisia again.**

 **And also, give a round of applause to my baby son Grisia who only said two lines in this fic! *CLAP* *CLAP***

 **Grisia: But I'm the main character?!**

 **Me: Yeah, but you're also kinda useless here. If I used you too much, you'll end up outshining Roland, your brother.**

 **Grisia: Still, two lines?! One of them even from a flashback! It was technically the ten-year-old me who said that!**

 **Me: Okay, we're closing up! Thank you everyone! Do you even read this?**


End file.
